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Al-Triathlon

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Rules for the Original Aluminum-Man Triathlon The Aluminum-Man Triathlon™ is a combination of three athletic events – golf, bowling and pool. Beyond the questionable physical demands of these three sports, athletes need to employ strategic thinking and drinking, as beers consumed during each event can enhance their scores in the short run, but impair performance over the long run. All of this occurs over a day-long competition that tests the stamina and sanity of the Aluminum-Man athletes. Golf General Rules for Golf 1. The rules of golf will be strictly observed at all times on the course. 2. Golf etiquette will be strictly observed at all times on the course. 3. No slow play. 4. No powered carts are allowed. 5. No pastel-colored golf balls are allowed. Ever. (1-stroke penalty for each one we find in your bag). 6. Square-grooved clubs are permitted. 7. Any player who causes, by an act of swing a club either in practice or while making a stroke, a divot to hit a competitor in the head shall be penalized two strokes for that hole (Al’s divot penalty). 8. In the event that a player receives a ruling, the decision of the guys in charge of this thing is final. However, because we like golf, too, we don’t want our game constantly interrupted with silly questions. Buy a rule book and figure it out (this goes for bowling, too). If you can’t, then ask. 9. No drops on out-of-bounds shots. Really – it’s in the rule book! 10. If you choose to bring beer on the course, remember cans only and watch out for Mister Ranger. Beer Rules for Golf 1. Players may subtract one stroke per hole for each beer consumed entirely by that player between tee-off and properly holing out on that hole. 2. Any player who knocks over a beer (his or another’s) during golf will be assessed a 1-stroke penalty for that hole. 3. Any player who knocks over a beer belonging to one of the guys in charge will be assessed a 2-stroke penalty to be assessed at one, or two holes, chosen by one of the guys in charge (RHIP). 4. At the beginning of the golf portion of the competition each player must declare, and place within his golf bag, the total number of beers that he may choose to consume during the golf portion of the tournament. This is subject to the limitation that the total number of beers and clubs carried in the player’s bag may not exceed 20. Scoring for Golf The event is a modified Stableford tournament. The following point system will be in effect: • Double Eagle or Hole-in-one = 40 • Eagle = 22 • Birdie = 15 • Par = 8 • Bogey = 5 • Double Bogey = 2 • Triple Bogey or over = 0 Bowling General Rules for Bowling 1. The standard rules of bowling (Huh?) will be in effect at all times. 2. We take our bowling seriously. 3. No slow play (we mean this!). Beer Rules for Bowling 1. For purposes of the bowling portion of the competition a beer is considered to be a glass/cup (fairly poured) as provided by the bowling alley. 2. Players may have multiple glasses/cups of beers pre-poured from their pitchers to facilitate drinking a 7- or 8-roll into a strike 3. Players may “borrow” a competitor’s beer to effectuate rule 2, above, provided that the player properly compensates the player that he borrows from. You may not “borrow” or steal a beer from non-competitors or the staff without their express, prior permission. 4. Any player who knocks over and spills a beer during a frame will be assessed a 1-pin penalty for that frame. 5. Players may choose to have two beers; a competitive beer that is properly poured, and a social beer that has no competitive impact but is still proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (attributed to Benjamin Franklin). Scoring for Bowling Players may add one pin to their count for each beer consumed entirely by that player during a roll (i.e., the time between releasing the ball and the last visible movement of the pin setter). Pool General Rules for Pool 1. Standard double elimination format – seeding according to golf scores. This may be changed to single elimination depending on the wishes of the planning committee and the condition of the tournament players as of the time that the pool tournament commences. 2. 8-ball games. 3. 8-ball must be banked. 4. No slow play! Beer Rules for Pool 1. After the balls come to rest, and before the player’s opponent (or other bystanders) finish humming the Jeopardy theme a player may consume a beer and move any ball on the table, save for the cue ball or the 8-ball, one ball diameter in any direction. This may be done by either player for offensive or defensive purposes. 2. If both players are drinking and the player with the cue finishes first he may quickly strike the cue ball upon completion of his beer while his opponent is still drinking and obviate the effect of the opponent’s beer, but if he strikes the cue ball after his opponent finishes drinking then he loses his turn with the pool cue. If both players drink and finish before such action described above the player with the cue has the first move, and the opposing player has the second move (the opposing player is allowed to move the same ball that the striking player just moved). This maneuver is referred to as a Munich Standoff. 3. For purposes of the pool portion of the competition a beer is considered to be a glass/cup (fairly poured) as provided by the pool hall. 4. Players may have multiple glasses/cups of beers pre-poured from their pitchers to facilitate their pool strategy. 5. Players may “borrow” a competitor’s beer to effectuate rule 3, above, provided that the player properly compensates the player that he borrows from. You may not “borrow” or steal a beer from non-competitors or the staff without their express, prior permission. Scoring for Pool Pool scores are determined by establishing a concordance between the rank order finishing during the golf portion of the tournament and the pool portion of the tournament so that a 1st, 2nd, 3rd… place finish in pool will have the same score as a 1st, 2nd, 3rd… place finish in golf. Generic Rules Generic Rules for the Aluminum-Man Triathlon™ 1. Events are not timed (but we hate slow play). 2. Each person is responsible for his own fees at the time of each event (we will try to keep these to a minimum, i.e., cheap courses) 3. Any complaints or appeals must be made in writing, if possible, to the guys in charge of this thing within a half-hour or so of the conclusion of the event in question. 4. The decision of the guys in charge of this thing is final. NO WHINING (we mean this, whining penalty = 10 points). 5. Athletes must wear their uniforms at all times, with the exception of shoes, which may be changed according to venue. 6. The guys in charge of this thing can be identified by their sharp blazers. 7. Any participant asked to leave a competition venue at the request of site management at each venue (not the guys in charge of this thing) will be assessed no penalty other than forfeiture of all unaccrued points for that event. However, exiting a venue in a spectacular manner or for a spectacular reason (such as being hauled off by the police for protecting one of the guys in charge of this thing, or teeing up bullfrogs, or the like) may receive compensatory points, proved that a supermajority of the competitors concur. The actual number of compensatory points will be determined by the guys in charge of this thing. (You remember the guys in the spiffy blazers). 8. The guys in charge of this event reserve the right to suspend or modify the rules during the play of the tournament in a predetermined manner. In the past this has lead to such modifications as: 1) the self-explanatory tequila shot challenge on the second par three hole of the golf course; 2) a one stroke bonus for teeing off on the 10th hole while wearing the “Old Man” rubber Halloween mask; and 3) the blindfolded fifth frame during bowling. Traditionally, these modifications are not announced at the beginning of each event but are left on the golf course by the first foursome, or announced during the fourth frame of bowling. (c) 1988, 2017 The Aluminum Nation https://www.TheAluminumNation.com

The Original Aluminum-Man Triathlon™

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